the red dress

i'm going to be a bridesmaid in my friend linda's wedding this december. i'm also going to be the photographer. that will be super fun. i've never been a bridesmaid before, so it's pretty exciting.

does my marital status make me a bridesmatron?
doesn't that sound like i should be carrying a ladle or a rolling pin as an accessory?

anyways, linda picked these really pretty bridesmaid dresses:
however, they're from target (good for price, bad for sizing) and they don't have them in our local store, so i had to order mine offline. since their return policy sucks more than anything in the world and i want to avoid having to deal with customer service and returns/exchanges at any cost, i whipped out the measuring tape and tried to place myself accurately on their sizing chart (which, by the way, turns size 2's into size 8's), ordered the dress four sizes larger than my normal size, and hoped for the best.

it arrived yesterday. it's very pretty. the color is great and the fabric is thick and smooth.

i tried it on. first i tried stepping into it. i couldn't get it three inches past my knees, let alone my thighs, so i tried the other approach: pulling it over my head. that worked alright.

andy zipped me up and i looked in the mirror. it was...baggy? how could this be? the skirt and waist fit alright, but the whole top section was big and billowy and puckering out in odd ways. does this mean that i'm a grossly disproportionate pear shaped woman? i thought to myself:

sigh
i guess i'll order the size underneath and see which one fits better, maybe find someone with a sewing machine and make it work?

then i tried to take the dress off.

i couldnt.

i was stuck

forever

in a red dress.

after a somewhat violent wrestling match with the red dress, the exploit ended with me sitting cross legged on the floor with my arms over my head (little kid style) and andy pulling as hard as he could. it eventually came off, and i was able to wear normal clothes to our dinner date with my dad.

what an adventure.